The Ritual Roots of Marriage Gifts in Antiquity

Long before modern headlines decried exorbitant bride prices, ancient Chinese matrimonial customs established elaborate gift-giving traditions. Known as “聘礼” (pìn lǐ) or bride wealth, these offerings originated in the Zhou Dynasty’s (1046-256 BCE) ceremonial “Six Rites of Marriage.” The pivotal “纳征” (nà zhēng) rite formalized the exchange, with the Book of Rites sternly noting: “Without accepting gifts, no intimacy may develop.”

Archaeological evidence from oracle bones reveals early Shang Dynasty (1600-1046 BCE) marriages often involved ritual bronzes. However, it was during the Zhou that symbolic meanings became codified. The aristocratic class exchanged:
– 玄束帛 (xuán shù bó): Five bolts of black and red silk representing cosmic balance
– 俪皮 (lì pí): Paired deer pelts symbolizing fertility and abundance

Commoners adopted accessible alternatives like peach wood (for longevity) and Sichuan peppercorns (whose clustered berries represented numerous offspring). The Book of Songs documents peasants using wild game and woven hemp cloth as practical yet meaningful offerings.

The Han Dynasty: When Bride Prices Got Serious

Imperial expansion during the Han (206 BCE-220 CE) transformed marital exchanges. The emerging scholar-official class escalated gift values dramatically:

– Basic official weddings required 20,000-30,000 coins (a governor’s annual salary)
– Luxury items appeared: lacquerware (symbolizing unbreakable bonds), matched bronze mirrors, and jade pendants
– The Later Han Records describe warlord Dong Zhuo offering 100 carriages, 20 horses, and sacks of coins for a widow’s hand

This period saw the first legal disputes over betrothal gifts. Excavated Han legal bamboo slips from Shuihudi reveal cases where families sued for unreturned gifts after broken engagements.

Tang-Song Transition: From Symbolism to Spectacle

Tang Dynasty (618-907) bridal processions became mobile displays of wealth. Dunhuang manuscripts detail extravagant parades featuring:
1. Lead horses with red silk trappings
2. Lacquered palanquins
3. Processions of servants carrying food, wine, and spices

By the Song Dynasty (960-1279), the “Three Golds” tradition emerged among elites:
– Gold wrist bangles
– Ankle bracelets
– Phoenix hairpins

Notably, wild geese—once essential for their migratory symbolism—were replaced by domestic geese due to overhunting. Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) law codes formalized refund policies, stipulating that:
– Men forfeited gifts if they broke engagements
– Women’s families must return gifts for canceled weddings

Cultural Paradox: Dowries vs. Bride Prices

While much attention focuses on groom-side payments, historical records reveal a fascinating counter-tradition. Southern Song poet Lu You lamented in his diary how his daughter’s dowry (including land deeds and furniture) nearly bankrupted his family. This dual financial burden created what scholars now call the “Chinese Marriage Squeeze.”

Modern Echoes of Ancient Practices

Contemporary “天价彩礼” (sky-high bride prices) in rural China mirror Han Dynasty excesses. The 2020 Civil Code’s prohibition on marriage-related extortion continues a legal tradition dating to Tang statutes. Anthropologists note how:
– Urbanization revives symbolic gifts (like paired watches replacing deer pelts)
– Rural areas maintain cash-focused traditions, with some provinces averaging 150,000 RMB payments
– Social media campaigns promote “new style weddings” recalling Zhou Dynasty’s emphasis on ritual over riches

From deer pelts to dowry houses, China’s three-millennium journey of marital exchanges reflects deeper societal values—where love, economics, and family honor remain intricately entwined.