Introduction to Song Dynasty Marriage Practices

The Song Dynasty (960-1279 CE) represents a fascinating period in Chinese marital history, marked by surprisingly early marriage ages that would seem extraordinary by modern standards. Historical records reveal prominent figures like Sima Guang marrying at just 19 (by modern counting), Su Shi (better known as Su Dongpo) wedding at 19 to a 16-year-old bride, and the famous poetess Li Qingzhao entering matrimony at 17. These cases weren’t exceptions but reflected widespread social norms codified in the Song legal system, which permitted marriage at 15 for boys and 13 for girls. This early marriage culture developed within a complex web of social expectations, economic considerations, and Confucian values that shaped one of China’s most intellectually vibrant eras.

Legal Framework and Social Expectations

The Northern Song legal code “Song Xing Tong” (宋刑统) established clear guidelines: “Males may marry at fifteen years (by traditional counting) and females at thirteen years and above.” These shockingly young ages by contemporary standards were not merely suggestions but reflected deeply ingrained social expectations. The famous statesman Sima Guang, though married young himself, later advocated in his “Family Rituals of the Sima Clan” for slightly more mature ages—16 to 30 for men and 14 to 20 for women—while still endorsing what we would consider early marriages.

Several factors drove this early marriage culture:

1. Confucian Family Values: Early marriage ensured the continuation of family lines, a paramount Confucian virtue where “there are three forms of unfilial conduct, of which the worst is to have no descendants.”

2. Demographic Realities: With lower life expectancies, early marriage maximized reproductive years.

3. Social Stability: Married individuals were viewed as more settled and responsible members of society.

4. Political Alliances: Elite families used marriages to cement political and social connections.

Case Studies of Notable Figures

The marital histories of Song Dynasty luminaries provide vivid illustrations of these practices:

Sima Guang (1019-1086)
– Passed imperial exams at 20 (traditional count)
– Married same year to daughter of Minister of Rites Zhang Cun
– Actually just 19 by modern counting—considered early even for Song standards

Su Shi (1037-1101) and Family
– Father Su Xun married at 18 to same-age wife
– Su Shi himself married at 19 to 16-year-old Wang Fu
– Younger brother Su Zhe married at 16 to 15-year-old bride
– Sister Su Baoniang married at 16 to 17-year-old groom

Li Qingzhao (1084-1155)
– China’s most celebrated female poet
– Married at 17 (traditional count) to Zhao Mingcheng
– Described her marriage in autobiographical writing

Ouyang Xiu (1007-1072)
– Married at 26—relatively late for Song scholars
– Wed daughter of his mentor Xu Yi

These cases show how early marriage intersected with career paths, especially for scholar-officials who typically married after passing imperial examinations—the “double happiness” of career success and marital bliss encapsulated in the phrase “wedding night candles, golden榜 announcement day.”

Consanguineous Marriages: Risks and Rationales

Song literature contains numerous examples of cousin marriages, which carried significant social advantages despite modern understanding of genetic risks. The Southern Song story collection “Drunkard’s Tales” (醉翁谈录) recounts a typical scenario where cousins—children of siblings—were betrothed from birth, reflecting common practice.

Advantages of cousin marriage:
1. Strengthened family bonds
2. Property remained within extended family
3. Smoother mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relations (aunt-niece dynamics)
4. Reduced dowry negotiations between families

The famous poet Lu You’s (1125-1210) tragic marriage to cousin Tang Wan exemplifies both the practice and its potential pitfalls. Despite being his mother’s niece (which should have ensured good relations), Tang Wan was forcibly divorced—likely due to infertility, the ultimate marital failure in Confucian society where “having no heir is the greatest unfilial act.”

The Taboo of Same-Surname Marriage

Ancient Chinese marital customs strictly prohibited same-surname unions, a tradition dating to Zhou Dynasty (1046-256 BCE) with roots in avoiding consanguinity. The “Zuo Zhuan” warned that “if husband and wife share a surname, their offspring will not flourish,” while Song law imposed two years’ penal servitude for violations.

Historical development:
– Zhou Dynasty: prohibition formalized
– Han Dynasty: incorporated into state ideology
– Song Dynasty: legal penalties instituted

However, practical exceptions existed, particularly when:
1. Surnames became widespread beyond blood relations
2. In regions with surname concentrations (e.g., Lin in Fuzhou, Ye in Jianzhou)
3. Among lower classes less concerned with elite norms

The case of Southern Song general Zhang Jun taking concubine Zhang Nong caused scandal precisely because it violated this deep-seated taboo, showing how seriously the prohibition was regarded among elites.

Marriage as Social Networking

For Song elites, marriage served as crucial social capital. The phenomenon of “friends becoming in-laws” was widespread among scholar-official families:

Examples:
– Wang Anshi married daughter to friend Wu Chong’s son
– Huang Tingjian’s son married daughter of county magistrate Shi Liang
– Su Zhe’s daughter married son of prefect Wang Zhenglu
– Fan Zhongyan’s daughter married son of official Han Yi

These alliances created dense networks connecting political and literary circles. As Wang Anshi wrote in poetry commemorating such relationships: “Same office, same age, same exam cohort—friends becoming in-laws creates the closest bonds.”

The “Catch-a-Son-in-Law” Phenomenon

Imperial examination success made candidates extremely desirable marriage partners, leading to the unique Song practice of “榜下捉婿” (catching a son-in-law under the posted exam results). Families—including wealthy merchants—would literally compete to secure top graduates as grooms.

Notable cases:
– Kou Zhun (961-1023) secured top graduate for niece
– Ouyang Xiu and Wang Gongchen both married daughters of vice chancellor Xue Kui
– Feng Jing (1021-1094) resisted forced marriage to imperial relative

The related practice of “betrothal before results” saw families gambling on promising candidates:
– Li Hang betrothed daughter to Wang Zeng before exams—Wang later became prime minister
– Wealthy families would contract: “Pass exams=marry; Fail=part ways”

The Dowry System and Its Social Impact

Contrary to modern Chinese marriage economics, Song parents faced tremendous pressure to provide lavish dowries—often impoverishing families. This “厚嫁” (generous dowry) custom gave brides greater marital security but created significant social problems.

Documented cases:
– Fan Zhongyan’s clan rules: 20 strings for sons’ weddings, 30 for daughters’
– Su Zhe sold valuable land for daughter’s 9,400-string dowry (~$2-3M today)
– Qin Hui’s wife brought 200,000 strings (equivalent to ~$2.6M today)

Consequences:
1. Enhanced bride’s status and property rights
2. Created “leftover women” phenomenon—poor families couldn’t marry daughters
3. Required formal dowry documentation akin to modern prenuptial agreements
4. Led to female infanticide in impoverished households

Wedding Rituals and Customs

Song weddings blended solemn ritual with joyous celebration through standardized steps:

1. Negotiations & Betrothal
– Matchmaker mediation
– Exchange of detailed “marriage resumes”
– Formal agreement with dowry inventory

2. Wedding Day Rituals
– Bride’s family distributed “red envelope” tips to groom’s procession
– Groom’s family scattered grains/coins to ward off evil spirits
– Chair-and-saddle ritual for groom symbolizing safety and advancement
– Cup-exchange ceremony with symbolic tossing of vessels

3. Post-Wedding Customs
– Bride’s introduction to ancestral tablets
– Various regional tests of new bride’s domestic skills

These rituals, documented in works like “Dream Pool Essays” (梦溪笔谈) and “Tokyo Dreamland Records” (东京梦华录), reveal how Song society balanced Confucian solemnity with celebratory joy in marital ceremonies.

Conclusion: Legacy of Song Marriage Practices

The Song Dynasty’s marital customs left enduring impacts:

1. Demographic – Early marriage contributed to population growth during agricultural peak
2. Legal – Dowry rights established precedents for female property ownership
3. Literary – Inspired countless romantic tragedies (e.g., Lu You-Tang Wan)
4. Social – Examination-meritocracy reinforced through marital alliances

While modern China has rejected early and consanguineous marriage, echoes of Song practices persist in the continued importance of educational achievement in marital prospects and the ongoing tension between romantic love and familial expectations in Chinese relationships. The Song experience reminds us how marital customs both reflect and shape broader social structures—a dynamic as relevant today as a millennium ago.